The following excerpts appeared in the November 10, 1997issue of ADVANCE for Occupational Therapists
By Laura Rutherford Renner
I was pregnant with my first child when I began to experience difficulty walking, writing, balancing, and staying awake at my job. As an OT at Magee Rehabilitation, I treated patients who had suffered neurological impairments, but I thought my own symptoms were standard for expecting women. Until the tough eight-hour days became unbearable.
Richard and I convinced my obstetrician that something was wrong. He ordered a CT scan, which revealed a large brain tumor. At Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, neurosurgeons confirmed that I had a benign Schwannoma.
Over the next few days, the obstetric and neurosurgery teams developed a plan to treat both me and my baby. Prenatal testing started to show problems, so physicians performed a cesarean section.
Emily was born with Apert Syndrome and other complications which ended her life six days later.
I didn't have much time to grieve because I was readying myself for upcoming brain surgery, and I was numb from all the medication. Back home, my husband and I sadly opened the bags of baby gifts that out-of-town relatives had sent...for the baby shower that never happened. Unexpectedly, I came across Emily's hospital bag and found her comforter, her little "onesy,"her tiny stuffed bear. The finality of it all suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks: I might never have another child.
Sometimes, during horrific times, good things can happen. My work mates were a great source of friendship and support. They sent fruit baskets and flowers. They stayed with me in the hospital. During the month I sat at home waiting for surgery, Richard and I were greeted five evenings a week by wonderfully prepared dinners, hand-delivered and made by my fellow OT's.
My co-workers presented us with thoughtful gifts. The most memorable and cherished is a delicate silver candle holder inscribed "In Memory ofEmily Marie." In the darkest shadows of our loss, the kindness of friends helped light a pathway through our pain.
After my first surgery that October, I improved dramatically. However, I would still require occupational and physical therapy through the following month. I received treatment at Magee. I was not surprised to see many familiar faces, but it was awkward for me and my former co-workers. After the first day I did not want to return. My day consisted of OT, PT, speech-language pathology, psychology, recreational therapy, and group activities. A friend and former co-worker facilitated my first OT session. Bob's plan was simple, grounded in OT theory and practice: assist the patient to resume activities of work, play, and leisure. He chose work activities, and instructed me to empty the OT cabinet of all the objects and sort them according to treatment categories. Then he questioned me: what kind of disorder would I be treating with each activity? It was a major challenge for me because my short-term memory was impaired, perhaps by the anesthesia I'd received ("under the knife" for13 hours). The obstacle was temporary, but initially it had a great impact on my spontaneous word retrieval. The activity Bob chose was successful in reshaping my memory connections of the highest order, and re-established my self-confidence towards the continuation of my career. Bob's attitude meant the world to me: Someone with a positive vision of my future believed in my abilities. Isn't that what OT is all about?
About the author: Laura Rutherford Renner, OTR, therapist and gifted artist, is from New Jersey.
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